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Friday, January 8, 2010

Working on My Follow Through


People who know me in “real life” will tell you that when I get an idea in my head, I can have tunnel vision until it comes to fruition. I am stubborn. And, truth be told, when I really want something I will go to great lengths to get my way (let us all now take a moment and heave a collective sigh of sympathy for my husband).

But lately I’ve been noticing that when it comes to the really big decisions, those that require a somewhat substantial leap of faith, I hesitate. This little voice of self doubt begins to whisper ideas of inadequacy, disguised by the premise that they are actually logical thoughts, and clearly the “right” thing to do. And if I don’t listen right away those little thoughts will escalate into a resounding, “Who the hell do you think you are?”

For several months now I’ve felt like I am standing on the edge of some significant, life altering changes. I am *this* close to fulfilling dreams that have been years in the making. But here’s the thing - making those dreams come to fruition is going to require a leap of faith on my part. I’ve finally realized that I can no longer sit back and wait for things to change. To get the big results I am going to have to take a deep breath make that leap. I might fail (I might fail miserably). I might embarrass myself. I might wind up right back where I started. By saying aloud “this is what I want” I will be vulnerable. Clearly, the underlying current here is that I am afraid of failure.

So I am wondering - do any of you feel like this? Do you hesitate when it comes to those big decisions? Have any of you conquered your fears and taken a leap? I would love to know your thoughts…

{Photo via sfgirlbybay}

5 comments:

southern daze said...

I absolutely feel like this! I've been stuck in a rut for longer than I'd like to admit and even though I know I need to kick my fear of failure to the curb I just can't seem to do it.

Unfortunately I don't have any answers (sorry!) but I can let you know you're not the only one that feels like this. I hope for your sake that you do take the leap of faith and watch your dreams come true :-)

Sarah said...

It's pretty ironic that you posted this today. This past week has been nothing but a back and forth of the same kind for me - realizing I have the answer and am so close, and then doubt crawls in and I start to panic that I'm making an incredibly foolish decision. But today I read something that really helped me, so maybe it will help you, too...

"The very moment you first feel fear, you have to resist it. You have to act against it. If you make the mistake of dwelling on your fears and start thinking about all the reasons why you can’t do what God is telling you to do, then it won’t be long before you develop a negative mindset that will keep you stuck where you are."

I hope you take the leap. I'm going to. :)

Tenille said...

yes an no. Some things I am fearless about - like moving cross country to get my MFA - yet others I hold near and dear to my heart and wait. For what, I don't know. But I have just made the huge decision to start a freelance photography business and I'm getting all my ducks in a row and it's so scary and I think about it all the time but it feels so good too, following a dream. Go for it!

HazelnutPhotography said...

If it's going to be good for you, close your eyes and jump! If you fail, you fail. But if you don't, you succeed. And the joy that brings is worth every single stumble you might have along the way. I've jumped, and it was the most amazing thing I ever did for myself. Scary, petrifying, INSANE. But absolutely and totally worth it. GOOD LUCK!

jw said...

As one much older than you, I have tried and succeeded and I have also tried and failed. The trick is to not let the failures get the best of you. Failing is how we learn to succeed. But fear stops us from ever trying.